what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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javascript:alert("your own");

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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