Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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I lost my tractor.

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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Women's rights...

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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Q:how many anti jokes does it take to make a person lough A:1

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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