Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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