Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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minecraft

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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Justin Beiber

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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What's really weird? It's you Greg!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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