What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick!

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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2 women were sitting quietly

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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what happens when you get ben roethlisberger, and a young college student? a very pleasant evening, helping ben cope with all the drama he has been in the past year leading him to the 2011 super bowl against the green bay packers.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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The game!

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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