What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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Johnson stops eating

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

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What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

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What would Guy and Hemech's reactions be if they saw this joke up? They would see it from the newest jokes

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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