Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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God is real

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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A man with Alzheimers favorite thing to read is the first page of the antijoke book

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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Hey, Max!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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What happened to the boy who lost his arm? He got on suprisingly well in life considering he has the use of only one arm, and got a terrific job. He managed to meet a woman, , and he was a generally happy guy. He lived to a great age, and he, nor anyone around him, ever thought of him as different or disabled. It's good to hear a happy anti joke once in a while isn't it guys?

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space is fun

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a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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