If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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.....Carrot Top....

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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poop is very very yummy.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops