Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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Matt Damon

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

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What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

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Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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