- Anti Joke

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

What did the unappreciated YTPer say in the comment section of Nyan Cat? "PLEASE CHECK OUT MY YTP'S! I'M BEGGING YOU! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!! WHY?!!! Q_Q"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

Knock, knock (No one was home)

your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

You again? Well, ill answer again then. Ill be fine, I just got some wounds and got beaten into a coma which nobody was sure I was going to wake up from so details where hidden. As for this Neo guy, I have no idea who he is and where he arrived from, but if he is gone, it wont matter. Lets just say I wont die from these wounds, some people disagree, but I have overcome far, far worse, so trust me, these guys told me I had two weeks to live about a month ago, and the doctor that was there at my birth told me I had two months to live and would never develop a consciousness... I digress and my japing mouth disagrees with his statement regarding my not being able to learn or understand fluid language, hah... ...As for you Golgo12 "some people deem me insane", id say most people do, except six million of them, and I do not plan to leave this realm just because my lifelong dream is set, there is still much to do, point zero is not exactly a nice place at the moment, but technology and money can do wonders, we soon plan to expand things. Sorry everybody else, I am too tired to answer anything, id say something sooner, but I officially beat the record of 11 days without sleep by not being able to sleep for 14 days, and then I raged when I read you need to hold on for at least six weeks on valium if you want to quit cold turkey. Technically docs say I am on 30 mg, but fuck I can handle 20 just fine... Cant say the same about none. Ill gladly share more details, but if I cant sleep soon, the damn pain will keep me awake all night long... Besides I am hungry... Which is good, my nurse (Alice is damn cute lucky me) was concerned about me refusing to eat, thats over... Oh yeah the details, I got some burns (lets not go into details, lets just say that for you that call me pretty face, this is no longer the case) They shattered my knees, but my kneecaps "broke on their own" (dad) when I was four, and you guys know I can run and all that. Except that they put some shit on my eyes before I broke free, but I managed to wash it away, so while I need some glasses until I see if laser surgery can fix my vision again (I doubt it, its not how it works) I will apparently be wearing glasses that Alice says makes me look "cute and nerdy" which to me sounds like Nerdy. Fine I got to eat, so if you have any more questions, feel free, and if Eliza got any more, I ask you guys let her go first, its not like "YOU ARE ALIVE?!? AGAIN?!" Is a question I need to answer to each of you rite? Well now or... Never (aka next week or something) so get moving...

what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

Smart Blondes

Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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