how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Cold camel scrotum.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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where are you?

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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