A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

Matt Damon

What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

twilight

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...