Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station . . .

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

Unnnnnnnn

Colby is gay.... thats it

what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

what's red and blue? your heart

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

whoa there

What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

Ham sandwich

Roses are red violets are blue I would test our new water bed so be carefull with your helled shoe!

if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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