- Anti Joke

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face