What is smelly and sticky A poo

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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women's rights

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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lyren is a big meanyhead

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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