Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

don't look behind you

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops