What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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twilight

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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A horse cantered into a bar.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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