Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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sarah taylor

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops