- Anti Joke

Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

Dani barton from bob chuckles

Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

You know what is not cool? Fire.

Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

Hey, Max!!

Hi

What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

You forgot to tell her that I can sense how you are doing and feeling based on how you phrase the words, how quickly you type, spacing, and lots of stuff I do not remember but can still make use off. Listen, I am alive and well compared to what I have been other times, the best thing about my grotesque childhood, is that it makes everything else, including this seem like nothing in comparison, nothing compares its as simple as that. Hey, speaking of simple, I want the new Street Figher game, and I want you to play if for me tomorrow, ill just tell you what to push or possess you or something else not possible, then we will both be calm like I am now, just like when we played Metal Gear, I tell you what to do, and you kinda suck and mess up because I am horrible at giving instructions okay? You know, I can see the sea from here, its really calming, it will also help you calm down as well, lets say I was in a casket, got out of it, and am recovering now, and you can be on your way now in about now unless my guys crashed in mid air, which is stupid, and stop staring at the screen like that, you should go watch television or something, distract yourself for the time being. Ill have to sleep now, speaking of knowing my limits, I might be taking permanent damage here, and while that is fine, I cant let it progress, I cant afford to go insane now that I have proven to many and most importantly myself that I am not. Remember when we watched flipper together? Skippy the Kangaroo? Mind breaking out those old video tapes? Id love watching them with you again... As for the videogames screw that, it was just something I said just like the sea, the game between you and me screwing up in order to "possess you", and then the sea so you would calm down like when you discovered you where really good at swimming once the fear of water got away. I wont lie you got that fear because I am a hydrophobe, young people end up mimicking the fear of one another, but thats over, I shower without getting blemishes now remember? I am no longer convinced my mother is laughing at me when the water gets cold either, I overcame that. Okay, wake up, just know I did not "possess you" I just "linked our emotions together by portraying a scenario we both know and enjoy doing together, I hope its okay I do not explain anymore, with zopiclone in the system, I can barely think at all. But let me know if you need more help. Say whats on your mind, ill read it all, but I cant answer, I am not taking any damage, I assure you that was just part of a hypnotic process, its "the link" I pretend like I am worried so you will know we are both worried and enter the same state, from then on I change it. I know you fear hypnosis and what it can do, but I hope you still trust me.

a retard lost...

What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

Your so stupid, that your stupid.

roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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