What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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WNBA

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Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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