Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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hi

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Why do black people suck? Because they're black

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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What's gay and ugly? An ugly gay.

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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