What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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penis

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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Oh no! My life is ruined!

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What's 4+7 47

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick!

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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