Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

a man walks into horse bar

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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