why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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A horse cantered into a bar.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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