Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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If you are my friend like it!

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Thank you for helping to save the animals. You may send your donation as a check to "Anti-Joke" at 555 Main Street, Anytown, CA.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

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Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

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What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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Bake until golden at 375

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your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Knock Knock.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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