Take my wife- to the store.

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Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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THE GAME

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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who smells? •Liam

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knock, knock. come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops