How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

Oh. So his name's Brandon.

PENlS.

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

So. The gays. ...

How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...