How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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Why do the cangaroos are weird? cause they have testicles in front and penis back, is real!

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Give this a thumbs up cuz mi spelin is baad

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Doorbell salesman.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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