- Anti Joke

What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

This one sucks!

what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

Did you hear the joke about Hellen Kellers dad? It was very funny

How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

How did the boy die? Because he got molested and raped by a pedophile!

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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