If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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boobies oh boobies i how i love u boobies the are so juicy with milk and hairy with in the tities

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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Why do people make antijokes? Because they can

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops