What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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Dear Board of education, so are we.

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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DOWN

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If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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