Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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Steven Yuhasz is so homosexual, he has sexual intercourse with other men and enjoys it. <33

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops