Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

where are you?

A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

What do you call a former pope. Dead!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

Obamacare haters

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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