What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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God is real

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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What rhymes with 'stick' and is brown? A stick

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Q: Why don't gingers have souls? A:Ginger is a root that consumed whole as a delicacy, medicine, or spice. Why would it have a soul?

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

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Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops