Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Iggy Azalea

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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gay marriage.

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Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops