- Anti Joke

What do you call a black man at the front of a bus? A bus driver

What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

Comment is abusive and has been removed.

What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

what's retarded and has red hair? You. ;)

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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