Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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#scabbers

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Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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¿melano?

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kiss me?

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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