Murder me once, shame on you.

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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A walrus walks into a bar

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He died.

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what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

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1+1 =? Too

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

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What's wrong with the beetles? They suck dick

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What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops