what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

What's round and red? A red and round solid.

How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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