Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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involved parents.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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