Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

Black History Month

Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

I THINK I SEE BIGFOOT O is yo mom!! -____-

Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

We didnt star the fire ...........

A white guy, a black guy, and a Spanish guy jump off of a building. Due to acceleration of gravity, they hit the ground at a fast speed and die.

There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

how do you know your at a gay picnic. the hotdogs smell like shit.

Comment is abusive and has been removed.

If I get 100 likes by tomorrow I will send 100 dollars to who ever likes it if the put down their address and say its for Louis Ok?

What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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