Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

guess what chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the baby die? I killed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

no

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Nice weather we're having.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops