Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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women have rights

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Get in the Batmobile.

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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