Dani barton= lovely

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

FAP

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would you rather do or drag a board?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue... No they are not they come in many different colors from cross breeding and different environments.... YOU ARE WRONG

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down -3

See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops