A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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