Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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