Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is 9 + 10? 21

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops