why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

God is real

Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

Whats the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer? The bad golfer looses the game, drives home, and falls asleep. The bad skydiver dies in a terrible accident.

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

What's brown and sticky? Shit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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