what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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My butt!!!!

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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what happens during a climax apples

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Women's football

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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