What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

marshal sterio had sex

how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

Chuck Norris died.

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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