Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

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Toilet Sex, Toilet Sex I Love Toilet Sex!

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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This is not a joke.

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the American run over the black man. Because he didn't see him standing there.

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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NASCAR

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops