There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

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A pedophile walks into a daycare

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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women outside of the kitchen

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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knock knock

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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