Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Why the long face?" Unable to under stand English the horse shits on the floor and leaves

What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

Dear Board of education, so are we.

How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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