Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Ms. Smoot's class

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Women.

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tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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