The Bible

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Women Driving.

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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I like pom

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Your mom.

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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What's up? A direction...

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a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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