Why was the black man scared to leave his house? Because he saw a load of mutated zombies outside his door trying to kill him. However, he realised that this was not possible and was not scared anymore. He went outside but got hit by a fridge and died...

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

#scabbers

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

involved parents.

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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